Posts by Ellie Brown

Jun 12

When I Grow Up

He grinned at me from atop my desk, and I burst into giggles. “Oh, wow!”, I exclaimed. I snatched up the stuffed T.Rex to examine him further; his stubby arms, long tail, and reptilian eyes.

“I’m glad you like it,” said my husband. “I thought you could use a present.”

“Yeah, he’s great!”, I replied happily as I marched the toy around on my desk.

When I was a child, if someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would reply, “I want to dig up dinosaur bones!” I would spend hours in my backyard digging holes and dragging whatever I found into the house: old bottles, interesting rocks, and sometimes even bones, which I was convinced had once belonged to some ancient creature. My parents were encouraging; I owned countless dinosaur picture books and toys, a chemistry set and a rock collection.

When I grew older, my mother would often take my brother and me to the Natural History Museum on the University of Michigan campus. I would stare in open mouth wonder at the articulated skeletons of dinosaurs and mammoths and stare dreamily at the dioramas of ancient landscapes and their inhabitants. It was in this same museum that I discovered what came to be my obsession – geology. I would press my face against the glass cases, marveling at the museum’s rock and mineral collection. I wondered how these things that were not living could grow with such perfection and beauty. I was always allowed to pick out a few rocks from the gift shop to add to my collection, which I still own.

T.Rex is keeping me company here on my desk as I study for finals. He reminds me that I’m doing this for that little girl who loved to play in the dirt and and stuff her pockets with rocks.

May 31

Keeping Calm & Carrying On

Being a post-baccalaureate student has its perks. For example, I don’t have to take University Studies courses so I can focus on the classes that are directly related to my major, saving both time and money. I have priority registration so I always get into the classes I need. I know how I learn best, how to manage my time, and I don’t make a lot of the same mistakes that many first-time college students make, both socially and academically.

Although those benefits are fantastic, there are serious downsides to being a post-bac. My financial aid is terrible. Because I am not a graduate student, but I am also not considered an undergraduate, there are no scholarships or grants available to me. My tuition is higher than a regular undergrad because I am charged special “post-bac fees” which amount to hundreds of dollars every term. I am required to submit a “post-bac plan” at the start of every year stating my long term plans and intentions. When I reach 90 credits, which will be after next fall term, I will have to submit an appeal to be allowed to continue taking out the student loans that I need in order to finish my degree. This is standard procedure for all post-bac students. If my appeal is denied, I will have to drop out until I can find work because I cannot afford to pay my tuition, rent, or bills without student loans.

My situation is not unique; I know many other post-bac (and traditional) students are experiencing the same frustration and anxiety.

May 19

25 points

I just finished taking a physics exam and it seemed way too easy. This means one of two things: I nailed it, or I totally failed.

I can’t stop thinking about the last problem. The description was four sentences long with “25 points” at the end followed by a vast expanse of blank, white paper waiting to be filled with complex formulas and calculations. The trouble is that this particular problem doesn’t have a complex solution. I recognized it immediately from the suggested homework problems and knew I could solve it in one step with a single elegant formula.

I read the problem again making sure I haven’t missed anything. Nope. I start writing everything about the problem that I can think of without solving it to show that I understand the concept. I read the problem again. Still not missing anything. I’m starting to panic and I’m filled with self-doubt. 25 points?! Stalling, I go back and look through the rest of the exam and check my work. This takes me less than 10 minutes and I’m back to staring at that huge white space on the back page. Finally, with a sigh, I write down the formula and solve the problem.

I won’t know for sure how I did until Tuesday, so for now I have to put it out of my mind and enjoy the weekend.

May 8

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Mark of the Chemist

In the early days of chemistry they didn’t have things like “laboratory safety protocol” and other such hindrances to the fun of blowing things up and producing toxic gases in the name of science. As a result, new chemists would often wind up jamming pieces of glassware through their hands as they set up their equipment. The tell-tale scar became known as the “mark of the chemist”. Thankfully this kind of thing doesn’t happen too often these days, but majoring in science does leave its mark on your life.

Being a science major, certain things are understood; I won’t be able to go to happy hour with you because I have lab, I always carry a graphing calculator, I am obsessed with “the curve”, and I frequently sport goggle marks. It also means that although I only have 10 credit hours this term, I am actually inside of a classroom or laboratory for 20 hours a week. I spend several hours a day reading and memorizing, and am never without my thick stack of flashcards.

Being a science major has its bright side, of course. I get to play with microscopes and mix toxic chemicals together, reduce complex natural phenomena to mathematical equations, and marvel at how amazing our universe really is. I am encouraged to ask questions and investigate my interests. I get to play in the dirt and bang on rocks. There is also a great sense of comradery amongst us future professional scientists. We appreciate the challenges and long hours that we all face, and no one ever makes fun of your goggle marks.

How has your choice of major impacted your day to day life?

Apr 26

Bike to PSU!

Clint Culpepper, Bike Hub supervisor, took a few minutes out his busy day to tell me about the upcoming Bike to PSU Challenge.

What is the Bike to PSU Challenge all about?

Clint: The Bike to PSU Challenge is our annual push to get more students and staff of the university to try bike commuting. This is our sixth year, but last year was definitely our best with over 800 participants logging miles and over 25% of them were new commuters.

What’s in it for me?

Clint: This year we have some fantastic prizes that will be given out throughout the Challenge. We have panniers and racks from Ortlieb, one-of-a-kind backpacks from Chrome, lights, caps and shirts from Knog and two trips on the Outdoor Program’s bike touring trip. Team captains will also get a T-shirt from the Challenge. We are most excited about two big prizes; Portland Design Works has given us enough of their Radbot 1000 taillights to give one away every day of the challenge and we have five Linus bikes to give away.

What advice do you have for those who have been thinking about commuting by bike, but haven’t taken the plunge?

Clint: For new riders, we recommend checking out the variety of free maps that the city of Portland has published. The city has done a fantastic job of creating safe routes around town to make it easier to get to and from campus. The Bike Hub has all of these maps available and our staff is more than happy to help people discover a route that works for them. It can be very intimidating for new riders, and one thing that we’ve found helps quite a bit is riding the route on the weekend or another day that they don’t have to be at school. This will give them the time to relax and sort out any worries that they may have.

I’m in! How do I sign up?

Clint: You can sign up at biketopsu.com. The registration is pretty easy, and from there you can sign up as a solo rider or as a team captain. If you would like to join a team that has already formed, the captain of the team can send you an invitation e-mail.

Anything else you’d like to say?

Clint: Biker Breakfast! Every Wednesday we’ll be rewarding riders with free donuts and coffee from Coco Donuts at the Urban Plaza, Smith Center, and Cramer Hall.

Look for me biking up Broadway every day in May on my bright yellow Jamis, aka “The Taxi”.

Apr 16

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Secrets in Stone

I’m in the mineralogy lab in the sub-basement of Cramer Hall. I’m seated in front of a petrographic microscope, a tool that I will come to know and love as a geology major. I place a slide carefully on the microscope stage. I look through the eyepiece and gasp- I never expected it to look like this. It’s beautiful! I eagerly press my eye to the ocular and take in the sight; a patchwork of colors, shapes and textures shines up at me. I rotate the stage and am shocked to see the light shift and play over the quilt of mineral crystals like a kaleidoscope. This is my first time observing a rock “thin section” and it’s blowing my mind.

After a few minutes of open-mouthed awe, I remember that I have a task to do; I need to identify the minerals that make up the slice of rock on my slide. Being a novice, I begin at the beginning. ‘Ok, so plagioclase has black and white stripes.’ I peer through the eyepiece looking for the tell-tale zebra stripes. My untrained eye is dazzled by the menagerie of shapes and colors. How am I ever going to pick out one mineral from all of this? I move the slide around on the stage, hunting for plagioclase. I finally spot one, and then another, and then another… suddenly I see them everywhere. They seem to pop out at me from the noise of the background.

I slowly work my way through the rest of the thin section, reading the rock like it’s written in an ancient language. I find myself totally lost in my work, and am surprised when I look at the clock to see that 3 hours have passed. Sadly, it’s time to go. I can’t wait to get back in the lab and continue to learn what the rocks have to teach me.

Apr 4

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Explore the Eastside

I live in Northeast Portland, and I love it. Sure, it takes me 25 minutes to bike to campus, and I can’t roll out of bed right before class starts, but for me, there is no better quadrant. I know some of you agree with me, but for those who doubt the awesomeness of the Eastside, let me tell you a little about it and maybe you’ll be more inclined to stretch your Portland horizons.

If you take a short trip over a bridge (there are plenty to choose from, so don’t be shy) the first thing you may notice is that it feels more spacious. There are few tall buildings, and you’re never far from a park. You might also notice a sudden change of pace; things are just a little slower over here and a little quieter. When I go out for a walk through my neighborhood, I pass by kids playing in their yards and people walking their dogs. It’s rare that I hear a horn honk. On warm nights, I sleep with my window open and hear crickets and the wind rustling through the trees.

If I’ve had enough of the peace and quiet and I want to be where the action is, I just hop on my bike and ride over to Alberta or Hawthorne or Belmont or Mississippi. There are tons of places to shop, drink and eat, and in my experience, it’s a bit cheaper over here. One of my favorite Eastside things to do is go to a theater pub (I’m partial to the Laurelhurst Theater on East Burnside and 28^th).

Fellow Eastsiders, what are some of your favorite things about this side of the Willamette?

Mar 22

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Time to Redefine Dead Week

I’ve been trying to memorize chemical formulas of minerals for the past three hours. (Ca,Na)(Mg,Fe,Al)(Si,Al)₂O₆…. My eyes are glazing over. I rest my forehead on my notebook and sigh. How am I ever going to remember all of this by Monday?

When I was attending a school on the semester system, our “Dead Week” was just that – a week without classes that was intended to allow us to prepare for exams and write papers. When I first came to PSU, I heard people refer to Dead Week and assumed that it was the same as on a semester system. I was shocked when I realized that wasn’t the case. Finals during my first term were a very stressful experience. I was angry and frustrated that I was expected to learn new material while reviewing the material from the rest of the term.

Since that first term, I’ve gotten used to how finals on the quarter system work, but I still find it unfair. If an exam is worth such a significant portion of our grade, shouldn’t we be given adequate time to prepare? Obviously, making each term one week longer would shorten our summer break, but there is a six-week break between the end of summer term and fall term as is.

What do you think? Would you rather have an actual Dead Week or are things fine as they are?

Mar 7

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Portland + Metal = Awesome

photo by Matt Amott

I push through the dense crowd as the bass thuds in my chest. There’s no point in saying “excuse me”; no one would hear me. I’m caught in the middle of the friendly crush, and I still can’t see the band. Someone grabs my hand and pulls me up to stand on the bench along the wall. I smile in gratitude, and my rescuer gives me the metal horns, pinky and ring finger up, in return. I turn my attention to Heavy Voodoo, who has just finished a song. The crowd cheers and shouts expletives of encouragement. “If you know this one, sing along,” says the singer, Zac Pettini, as the band launches into a Pentagram cover.

From my vantage point, I can see the entire crowd. We’re crammed into the Alleyway on NE Alberta, Street, which I’m sure is about two people away from capacity. The bartenders have stopped serving and are headbanging, fists in the air. I spot people who I have invited. I had been carrying fliers for the Ceremony of Sludge, a two-night music festival featuring Portland metal bands, in my bag for the last few weeks. It had given me a good reason to strike up conversations with classmates and other students who I see regularly around campus but never really talk to. And now here we were, participating in this awesome spectacle together that had nothing to do with figuring out why our physics experiment wasn’t working or asking to borrow lecture notes or ordering coffee.

The metal scene isn’t just about the music; it’s about building a community of mutually supportive individuals. Not everyone is a musician; we all do what we can, even if that’s just coming to shows and cheering on the bands.

How are you helping to build community that extends beyond campus?

Feb 22

Singin’ in the Rain

I’m sitting in the lobby of the Rec Center watching the rain pour down with a vengeance. People are running through the Urban Plaza in a futile attempt to stay dry. I sigh and go back to studying. It’s only 4 o’clock and already so dark. I squint to make out the words on the paper. It’s cold in here, so I slide my bag over and sit up on the window ledge directly on top of the radiator. My eyes are starting to feel heavy, which is absurd given that I’ve had at least three cups of coffee already today. I will myself to focus. I really need to study, but I’m just so sleepy.

Suddenly, I hear the strumming of an acoustic guitar coming from overhead near the street level entrance. I hear someone clear their throat and then: “I wanna make you smile whenever you are sad, carry you around when your arthritis is bad, all I wanna do is grow old with you,” a male voice croons. People start to cheer and sing along. I can’t see what’s happening, but I think someone is probably feeling very surprised right about now. I hear giggling and imagine that the recipient of the serenade is quite red in the face. The singer gains confidence and belts out the last few lines to his sweetheart, “Oh, I could be the man to grow old with you. I wanna grow old with you!” Wild applause and laughter fills the air. I smile to myself and go back to studying feeling a little lighter.