You know you’re an irresponsible hot mess when…

By: Emily Skeen

You know you’re an irresponsible hot mess when…your student loans total $40,000 and you just spent $5 of the money you’re supposed to use to pay your rent, trying to beat level 30 of Candy Crush. Yes, this is a true story of my very sad, very first world addiction to a game where the sole objective is to match up brightly colored candies.

The American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM), defines addiction based on the following criteria:

1. Inability to consistently abstain
I have not gone a full 24 hours without playing Candy Crush since my mom introduced me to it 2 months ago. Darn you mom!

2. Impairment in behavioral control
Remember the $5 I spent even though I have all that debt?

3. Craving or increased “hunger” for drugs or rewarding experiences
I want to play. All. The. Time. I will crush the candy, I will bring that last damn cherry to the bottom, I will clear all the jelly!

4. Diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and interpersonal relationships
My girlfriend: Babe, can you put that game down for a second I need to tell you something important
Me: What? Sorry, I accidently switched the stripey candy the wrong direction and now the last acorn is not where it needs to be.

5. A dysfunctional emotional response

cc-one-jelly-left
Seriously

Now, while I do acknowledge that there are more severe addictions, this does not mean that I don’t have a problem. And judging by the plethora of memes available to describe my plight, I would hazard a guess that I’m not the only one earning irresponsible-hot-mess status because of my Candy Crush addiction.

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