A Struggle To Find My Way

By: Adair Bingham

The start of this academic year has been incredibly difficult for me, to say the least. Left and right, I have been faced with new obstacles and challenges that seem to be popping up around every corner without warning; Yes, a new challenge is always welcome, but I would like to challenge it in a way that works best for me! I feel as if many people, myself included, find themselves to be self-conscious of their unique work habits, as well as the stylized flair that they add to their work. Personally, I find it to be a nifty little quirk that helps us stand out as individuals, something of which I find important. As such, at least recently, I have found myself (subtly or obviously) straying away from the expectations of those around me. It is a new mindset that I have adapted, initially believing that it would help me to discover myself a bit more. Which, yes, it has, and tremendously so! Yet, this new manner of thinking has also posed some needlessly difficult complications for me, further adding to the growing amount of hardships that lay in my path.

With these challenges, I have been attempting to integrate new and versatile methods of tackling them in a style that is unique to me. These tactics range from simply “doing it my way”, to going as far as to attempt to meet and exceed every expectation of those around me. The latter has not helped me, sadly. But, approaching a task in a way that I enjoy and in a manner that avoids expectations has resulted in nothing but positive feedback for me.

By this I mean that I am no longer “blindly following the leader,” so to speak. This has been most obvious in my studio drawing class, in which I have been blatantly (and unapologetically) applying my own approach to what is supposed to a still-life class. I’ve drawn drooling dogs with two huge mouths, a collage of nothing but gnashing teeth, and an extravagant piece of fan art as homage to one of my favorite video games. I wasn’t punished for doing so, in fact, it was even celebrated that I went above and beyond. That gave me confidence in my own style without shame.

Gaining this kind of self-confidence has not been easy, and it’s been a long journey to this point. Doing things my way and incorporating myself into my work (both school and otherwise), has helped me to not only have a better understanding of myself, but it has also helped me to muster up self-confidence that I didn’t think was possible. So next time you’re given a new task, approach it with your head held high and tackle it in the best way- your way!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s