Object Impermanence

Screen Shot 2017-12-01 at 3.26.49 PM By Danielle Emeka

I took his shirt out of my dresser and layed it against the carpet. I checked my lines with a steady hand full of assurance, guided the scissors as they cut through all that I had hidden away. A year of memories, longing, love and tears were held within the fabric. I viewed my work. “Cute,” I thought as a examined the new crop top I’d just created. I had held onto his shirt for nearly two years. In the drawer it had stayed. I had never put it on. Away from the light and, out of my sight, and unable to force me to think about him. It still smelled like him after all this time. Cocoa butter and castor oil woven with his natural scent.

Then one day I saw it for what it was. Just a shirt an ex had left behind. The hold it had on me was gone and I had to do something with it. I knew I couldn’t throw it away, for  that would be denying the experiences I had with him. Perhaps I make new memories with it. Better ones.

I’m taking the same approach to this new year.  Aside from school, work, dating and general day-to day-things. I’m working on parts of my past and not letting them take control of me. Some are still sitting in a drawer in my mind, hidden away from the light. One day I’ll have the courage to open that drawer, find what’s inside and see what I can transform it into.  

Natural Hair Journey

Screen Shot 2017-12-01 at 3.26.49 PM By Danielle Emeka

I started my natural hair transition about three years ago. I put the straightener and blow dryer in storage and embarked on my own personal hair journey. Maybe it wasn’t the best time being a student taking 12-16 credits a term, working part time, and still trying to find time to eat and sleep, but there never is a perfect time.  

A black woman’s hair is her crown and I wanted to grow mine. Learning about my hair’s texture, porosity and what it loves and hates was a big challenge. But I’ve learned more about myself in the process.

In college, multitasking is a way of life, and my natural hair journey forced me to become better organized in that I had to schedule my wash days. Nothing is worse than having to decide between washing a two week old twist out and finishing that essay! After many discussions with myself over the bathroom mirror, detangling my hair with a wide-tooth comb. Tangles are all too very real. The longer one goes between washes, the longer it takes to get all the tangles out. I will never again wait too long to wash my hair. Learn to be more patient. It’s called wash day for a reason. You can’t expect perfect curls and healthy hair if you aren’t willing to put the work in. I love myself and my uniqueness. Yes, my hair is different than most. I couldn’t love it any more.

College is all about self exploration and discovery. We’re all here not just to get a degree but to learn about what kind of person we are. For the black students who are  pondering starting their journey, do it! If you’ve already taken the plunge, congrats! Don’t give up. It will get easier. I promise.