A Queer Complaint Against Valentine’s Day

ec08db75f9ef95c1180ca428f5ecf0e1 By Naomi Kolb

It’s been hard to miss the fact that Valentine’s Day is this week with the bake sales, posters, and sex-themed events that have been seemingly taking over our campus lately. I’ve been actively trying not to be bitter about Valentine’s Day because this is the first year in awhile that Cupid forgot to fire the magical arrow that would land me a cutie to spend it with. Rather than being bitter about “not having anyone” to spend this holiday with though, I’m making genuine efforts to appreciate the love that I already have in my life. Just because I don’t have a romantic partner this year doesn’t mean that I don’t have anyone at all.

One of the legitimate complaints that I’d like to lodge against Valentine’s Day is the fact that it totally overemphasizes romantic and sexual love as the be-all-end-all, and specifically straight romantic and sexual love. None of that represents what my or my friend’s lives look like in college. For the most part, we’re a bunch of queers stumbling through loving each other in the best ways that we know how. The love that I have in my life right now might not consist of Netflix and Chill or romantic dinner dates, and I’m OK with that. The love that I’ve got in my life right now is singing at the top of my lungs while making dinner, calling my friend two time zones away to read her a passage from a book that I love, listening to previously unspoken poetry over Saturday morning brunch, and is certainly more than enough to fill my heart with even if I don’t have a romantic partner this Valentine’s Day.

I’m not ready to write off Valentine’s Day altogether – I’m not saying screw romantic love, screw relationships, or screw straight people. However, I am definitely saying screw the idea that you need a romantic partner to be happy and fulfilled. I’ve never been happier than I am right now, and I’m doing it without a traditional romantic partner by my side. This Valentine’s Day, I’m going to be busy loving myself and loving my friends more than ever before. Maybe Cupid didn’t miss me this year after all – maybe he just aimed his arrows towards unexpected places that still landed exactly where I needed them to be.

I’m No Different than Other Women

By: Kadie Kobielusz

It takes just one guy…to ruin everything.

I know this is a bold statement, but this is how I’ve been feeling. You wonder why you don’t see much PDA with bi or lesbian women. Well, this is why.

It was Valentine’s Day, and I took this girl I really care about out to the movies. We decided tonight would be the night to make a statement and have some fun. Going to the movies, we casually linked arms, and we got unwelcoming, longer-than-appreciated stares. Things were going well, relatively speaking. Then walking back, we decided to hold hands. Instantly, a guy mumbled something sexual, and looked up and down my body like I was a picture in a “Playboy” magazine. From that point on, with every group of guys we passed, we hesitated more and more to hold hands.

So I would just like to say:

Just because I’m bi and like other women, does NOT mean that you get two trophies. If you keep this up, all you’ll get is one dishonest woman.

5 Ideas for Valentine’s Day

V-day cookiesStill stumped with what to do on Valentine’s Day?  Check out some of these ideas, single or taken:

  1. Make something chocolatey – This is one of the most common gifts for your sweetie, and can have fantastic results. Maybe get some fresh strawberries and dip them in chocolate yourself; don’t underestimate the power of some homemade dessert.
  2. Dinner for two – Busy schedules keeping you two apart? Try getting together and making dinner as a team at home. This gives you time to catch-up on each other’s lives in a more casual setting than dinner out. Plus you get to keep the leftovers.
  3. Date night dilemma – Stuck in a dating rut and on a budget? Make a jar of popsicle sticks with fun ideas for a night in or out. This gives you something tangible for your better half, it’s inexpensive, and can help you spice up the romance.
  4. The Single Mingle – Get your single friends together for games and dessert. Just because you don’t have a date doesn’t mean you have to miss out on the fun!
  5. A Night for yourself – If you’re feeling down about single life, today is a great opportunity for some rest and relaxation. School is stressful! Use Valentine’s Day as an excuse for a night of pampering and focusing on your own needs.

Roses are red, violets are blue

As Valentine’s Day approaches, couples everywhere are hasting to get everything they need to make that day special. From chocolates to candle-lit dinners, there’s a lot of pressure to make this day perfect. For that reason, some people panic when it comes time figuring out what to get their valentine, so I’ve come up with a few things that might help your decision making.

This first one’s for the guys: you can never go wrong with flowers (unless she’s allergic). Red roses will do the job, but getting a different kind of flower is unexpected and will make you stand out. However, I would advise staying away from yellow roses. Although pretty, they symbolize friendship, and that’s probably not your intention. This may seem excessive, but women read into everything.

Just like thank you cards are always appreciated, Valentine’s Day cards are never out of style. Don’t rush when picking a card. Finding the perfect sentiment is worth the time. It’s always a struggle to locate a card that speaks to you without it being too cheesy, so if you don’t find something you like, I think it’s better to make your own card. The last thing you want to do is get something that sends the wrong message.

Last, but not least, make it personal. Find a gift where you can integrate pictures or engravings. It makes it that much more special when you incorporate things like inside jokes or memories that you both shared. Also, be meticulous when it comes to detail. It’s the little things that go a long way.

Do you care about Valentine’s Day?